identity crisis.

what i’m trying to understand these days is how, as a christian, my faith interacts with what i see on social media, the news and what i see from my friends and my peers. it’s not easy for me, being a liberal christian, to see similarities these days. some of my friends don’t comprehend the concept behind being a liberal and a christian, and i guess that’s okay. they say that it simply cannot be done. i’m just saying, here i am and i’m pretty sure i’m not the only one with this identity crisis.

for example, i believe in science. the way i see it, climate change is no hoax my friends. the evidence is there, quite loudly in fact. climate change is not a liberal fact and a conservative fallacy. it’s. simply. happening. glaciers are melting and rivers are drying up, it’s a fact. we don’t get to make up “alternative facts” when we don’t want to believe the truth. my wife and i have conversations frequently where we are both stunned at the, at best, apathetic christian response to climate change. even as a christian conservative, wasn’t the very first job given to humans was to take care of the earth and everything in it? and now, because you oppose climate change, the response is that the earth is supposed to die anyway so who cares? quite remarkable to me. but still, i want to be respectful of opinions here on this blog while exercising mine. this is after all, my space.

i’m trying to understand the pro-life movement. i’m not for the killing of babies. i hate that. i was adopted at eight months old, which taught me that there are other options. mothers have other choices if they are willing to consider them. it’s also not that simple. i feel that many people who are telling women what they should do with their bodies have never walked a day in their shoes. some have and those opinions are valued. if we are to be pro-life, doesn’t that also extend to life after birth? shouldn’t we be there for each other while on this earth or are we just concerned that babies are born and then they are on their own? do we care for them as long as they stay out of trouble? is their life valuable to us as long as they don’t get fat off of government hand outs? should we not care for them if they don’t care enough for themselves? is that the Jesus way of handling things?

as a christian, don’t understand the gun argument. throughout our society we have protections in place to protect humans from danger. we are required to wear seat belts in cars, for our protection. it’s actually against the law to walk across the street when the signs says stop, for our protection. we cannot drive drunk or above the speed limit for our protection. we have to take our shoes off at airports because one time one person had a bomb in his shoe. i’ve seen little old ladies in wheelchairs get patted down through the TSA lines because 17 years ago we had a horrific terrorist attack and we didn’t want that to happen again. they don’t even let us use our phones on planes unless we put the on special settings in case it disrupts frequencies and we end up falling out of the sky. in some areas of my city we cannot have bonfires because it might be destructive enough to burn down a house and be harmful to humans. so why, if we are pro-life, would we not want the same type of effort be taken so that our children are safe in schools? wouldn’t we do everything we can do to ensure we are all safe when we go to nightclubs and concerts and frankly anywhere? why is this the one thing we are just dumbfounded about? in america, we never say we can’t do anything. we have got to be the most confident nation on earth. there is nothing we say we cannot do. except preventing people dying because of gun violence. i just don’t get how the same people who vote along republican lines for pro-life purposes can continue to argue against gun regulations. wouldn’t being pro-life preclude you to do something? wouldn’t marching for life extend to those already living?

people get so upset about people living on food stamps, and i’m over here thinking, “what’s it to ya?” we are always experts on other people’s lives while ours are going to crap. “well, my taxes are paying for that! get a job!” taxes are actually meant to pay for things for the community and the common good, not just for what benefits you solely. who among us has not needed a helping hand? if other people are looking for hand outs in ways you wouldn’t, that’s their cross to bear, not yours. i just don’t get the venom spewed, and then the same people go to church on sunday and ask God to help them be a light in the community. i’ll never understand it.

i’ve struggled the last few years with a lot of these issues. i hold on to my faith because it has sustained me through some tough times. i see how faith has gotten my friends through unspeakable tragedies. i look at my little girl and i am convinced there is a higher being. that’s the only way to explain it. she’s too perfect. i’ve worked in a church. i’ve been called pastor. i get that side of things. what i don’t understand is how we can all say we love the same God but not all love the same people we believe he made. it’s not really optional is it?

i get that we are all different and i love that. i think we should celebrate our differences more than we should be debating them. what makes us stronger is not when we all conform to each other, but we can see each other’s view points and grow and learn from them. just because we have strong opinions, it doesn’t make them right. it just makes us human. what makes us good is when we take all of our differences and become a community.

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wonder.

this world is a wonder.

and it makes me wonder.

i wonder about the past… it just seems to happen so fast. one day, two days turns into a week, a month. suddenly a few years have gone and i’m left remembering where we’ve been and wondering about where we’re going.

i wonder about today. i wonder how we got here.

social media blasts us with stories of ferguson, missouri in a blaze. an officer shoots an unarmed man in the head and doesn’t go to trial. i wonder about that. going to trial doesn’t mean guilt or innocence, it just means that more questions need to be asked. i wonder how the grand jury can decide that all necessary questions have been asked and answered.

the president puts forward an order regarding immigration.

the internet explodes.

i guess we have forgotten that almost all of us are not from here. we are the byproducts of immigration, some of us illegally. but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. why bother with the truth of history?

the united states spends more on defense than the next twenty-six countries combined. somehow it’s justified. yet there are those who think cuts need to be made to education. as if we haven’t made life tough enough for kids. now the one place they are supposed to go specifically for learning, we cannot even sustain that? then we cannot figure out why kids are on the streets and crimes escalates. that makes me worry more than wonder.

i wonder about those who proclaim to know Jesus and celebrate his miracles and his life. many of these people are the ones who believe you must earn health care, that it’s not a right, that there then must be a premium on health and life. if being healthy and having access to health care is a privilege and not a right, i wonder how that works with your theology. what has any of us done to deserve Jesus? we christians like to say that Jesus is the ultimate healer right? yet the system in place for those who need it is only accessible for those who have earned it? i wonder how that can be possible to believe.

some headlines ask questions that we cannot possibly answer.

i hear that sex trafficking in this country is on the rise. why? how? who are the monsters that think this is okay?

 some questions have easy answers… at least in my mind…ISIS exists now because of an unnecessary war we started over a decade ago that ironically opened the floodgates for something we vowed to destroy.

this world is full of wonder. there is good in this world. i know too many good people who are doing so much good. there is also the opposite. people more concerned with bank accounts and power and image to worry about anything else. that is what concerns me.

it makes me wonder about the future.

here we are again.

so here we are again. it seems like this debate is never ending. are we really arguing about whether SANTA CLAUS is really white? is this truly the latest outrage? are we discussing the verifiable facts of the skin color of Jesus? Am I really even stooping to the level of a fox news anchor to address more outlandish commentary… AGAIN?

look, i realize that we all have our vices. we all have our short comings. i’m not going to call megyn kelly stupid, a moron… enough people have done that. she has to live with herself and her beliefs and if her biggest issue these days is the skin color of a mythical character, than so be it. she must truly live a charmed life.

i’m not really upset at her insistence upon the skin color of Jesus, or Kris Kringle or whoever she desires to be white. it happens. as a black man, i’ve been living in a white world most of my life. i’ve lived with the insistence of many white people that the white world is better than any other. it’s what people do. black people do it too. so do asians and greeks. we think that what we have, what we are, who we are… is better. it’s how we cope. we put on a facade. we try to fake it.

megyn kelly’s message to the children of the world that santa and Jesus are/were white as “verifiable fact” isn’t really the main issue to me. ignorance is as ignorance does. it’s not significant to me that someone without verifiable facts can go on the air in this country and speak their faulty opinions. i think we know that this has been done for decades now. most people can see through this type of stuff. the problem i have mainly with her statements is that we are still talking about skin color in the realm that we are. we are still talking about one skin color being better than another. really? if that isn’t the case than why was it brought up?

my hope has always been, if someday i am blessed enough to be a father, to be able to discuss with my children the beauty of their heritage. i want to be able to talk about their dutch heritage they will receive from their mother. i want them to who they are and where they came from. i want them to be proud of their african heritage. i want them to read about george washington carver and all the things he created out of peanuts. i want them to read about harriet tubman and the underground railroad. i want them to hear the old spirituals that slaves would sing to make it through the long and painful days in the sun. i want them to know about jackie robinson and bill russell and now i can legitimately express to them that they too can become president. hopefully if i have a daughter i will be able to tell her she can be president too, based on history. but what i have never looked forward to is discussing ignorance with my children someday.

i don’t look forward to the day where i have to discuss that sometimes people can be cruel and mean and that is never going to change like my mom and dad had to do more than once. i hope i never have to discuss with them how ugly humanity can be. i remember the tears i shed as a kid because of the names white kids would call me. i have always hoped that by the time i had kids, this type of discussion would bot be necessary. yet in 2013 we are engaged in a heated debate about the skin color of a fake person and how outrageous it would be for this fake person to be anything but white.

is this really still the world we live in? megyn kelly didn’t go on air and shock her producers, directors and the entire news department at fox. that isn’t possible. they had a panel to discuss this. meaning this was a planned effort on the part of the news division to discuss the skin color of a mythical character. they didn’t go on air to discuss poverty, crime, lack of quality education for children or the food deserts that cause so many of our citizens to live unhealthy lives. no, her platform was used to once again show how ignorant we can be. her platform was used once again to show the disconnect between reality and fantasy.

i don’t really get why it makes a difference to a news anchor (and i use that term loosely in this case) whether santa is black, white, asian or cuban? what if i present santa too my kids as a penguin or a lion or if i, get this, never introduce them to santa at all? that santa or jesus is “verifiable fact” is just not true, but we know that. what we don’t really know is why it matters.

i don’t really enjoy writing about these types of issues. writing about ignorance can’t be enjoyable. i don’t think reading about it is either. i just hope someday we can really begin to focus on what matters. i hope someday that we can really look past the surface of matters. someday.

pay attention.

so i’ve been away from writing for a bit. not because i was underwhelmed with thoughts. that rarely happens.

i’ve been thinking a lot. probably too much.

there has just been so much going on, i haven’t figured out a way to get my brain to slow down enough to let me write some thoughts down. i’ll just call it a writing sabbatical.

since the last time i really wrote anything:

the president has been re-inaugurated and the ugly politics in washington has continued in its usual ugly fashion. the politicians who we elect through our beliefs and morals and consciences and then pay through our own paychecks have continued to thoroughly ignore the same people they took an oath to protect and serve. however, i’m at a point with this where i don’t know who to blame more, the politicians or the people who vote but turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to politics in america. we are the ones who let this sort of chaos rise up when we, in typical american style, pass off the sincere responsibility due to all voting citizens to pay attention, to care, to simply not be apathetic. it is not difficult for us to form an opinion on who the bachelor should give his roses too or what “kimye” should name their baby. yet when our nation faces a crisis, all we can muster seemingly is this dispassionate eye roll and say ‘dumb idiot politicians’ and flip the channel to duck dynasty.

now i can easily get sucked into a sunday evening marathon of ‘keeping up with the kardashians’ as quickly as anyone. that isn’t hard to admit, yet i know that our country functions at its peak when people from both sides of the aisle speak intelligently about their passionate belief systems. i’m not really talking about the gun control debate or whether we should nuke north korea. i will say that while i was raised to not really like guns, i have to hand it to the NRA. somehow they found a way to scare a whole bunch of people into buying a whole lot of guns and memberships to their club in a very short amount of time. it’s actually pretty impressive. but anyway, the point i’m trying to make here is this: pay attention.

for too long i’ve heard this “i don’t care” ideology from too many americans. “as long as it doesn’t affect me!” that’s another gem i hear from among others, good solid christian people. you mean to tell me that it doesn’t matter what happens to the little guy as long as you get yours? interesting theory.

in this country we have let the rich (corporate america) get richer, while the poor (middle-class and lower-class america) get poorer. we have done this by not caring enough about the politicians we elect. we haven’t done our homework. we do this by fighting any reform that allows for the crumbs of our tables to fall to the dogs of the streets. ( as long as i get mine!) sometimes we barely even notice the dogs. i’m not talking about the people who stand outside in the rain shivering while holding a “help me i’m a poor college student” sign while their buddy takes his break in the SUV around the corner drinking starbucks. i’m talking about the single mother who is working double shifts just to buy formula for her baby. the famous line i always hear from compassionate christians is “well she shouldn’t have gotten herself knocked up!”makes me think of the verse where Jesus draws the line in the sand. i’m talking about teachers who are saddled with crowded classrooms and lowered funding because well, “we don’t have the money for it”. i’m talking about the laid-off worker who just had his unemployment cut because, “he needs to stop being so darn lazy!” meanwhile, the gap between rich and poor has never been larger. CEOs on wall street are bringing home more money than ever before. for some reason however, instead of finding solutions, all we want to do is blame the other guy.

america was built on a premise that, here we can enjoy freedoms unattainable anywhere else. sure, that does allow for anyone to have the freedom to not care about a single thing. how prosperous will that get us if that becomes the prevailing opinion? our great country, has awarded us the ability to think freely and share openly a discourse not enjoyed in many parts of the world. yet we are more focused on finger-pointing and issuing blame. it’s never our fault. it’s always the other side who doesn’t get it. we teach our children to take responsibility for our actions and then when talking about taxes we nearly break a finger pointing so hard at the other party.

it’s about time now for us to start caring more, but in a way that cultivates a better relationship with those who have differing views. it’s time to actually care. to care about what the other side has to say. it’s time we start working toward a solution one issue at a time. some say that the problems facing america are too big to really care enough because well “we’re screwed anyway”. it’s like that saying: how do you eat a whale? one bite at a time. we won’t solve everything just by simply having an opinion or being more passionate. but it ‘s a start. it’s a way to begin our journey from here to there.