i’m here.

i can’t say i legitimately saw this coming.

we’re back living in grand rapids after a year in chicago. not only that, we bought a house. in grand rapids… the gilmores are staying in grand rapids for the foreseeable future.

this is where i’m supposed to say “never say never” or “you cannot predict the future” and any other applicable cliches and metaphors that fit here.

i didn’t really see myself as ever being a michigan resident again. like… ever again.  it’s not that i don’t love the state of michigan, i do. the summers here are beautiful right? and being able to use my hand as a map to point to where i live in the state is invaluable.

but there’s more to it than geography.

deciding life changes is never easy. we can sit and mull the opportunities and wonder and fear and doubt and get excited all day. and that’s what i did. one minute i’d think, “let’s do it, let’s go back home!” and the next i’d say… “nooooo, why do i want to do that?” moving is hard, switching jobs and leaving friends sucks sometimes. i’ll be honest. i didn’t enjoy that.

there is a comfort here in grand rapids, you can relax here.  chicago is the best city in the world, in my opinion. but comforting? relaxing? i’m not sure if those words fit. it did really feel like home though and i’ve felt “homesick” nearly every day for the last month since we left. when people ask me, “oh so, are you from chicago?” i am tempted to say, “yep!” and maybe i have a couple of times. i find myself saying “Go Bears!” more than “Go Lions” and i think i’m cool with that. i’m guessing a majority of my posts from here on out will have a chicago reference or two, i hope you are okay with that.

right now i’m sitting in my house thinking, wow i own a house. i am settling down a bit! this is no small task for someone like me. settling down, establishing roots and general commitment to  anything is not something that comes natural to me. i’m naturally more of a nomad to be honest. i could roam the earth and be cool with it. i could blame this on a lot of things, but i won’t in this space. that’s a separate entry on it’s own. but this time i’m tackling my commitment issues head on and i’m proud of myself for doing so.

i guess go big or go home… or just buy a home in this case i suppose.

but grand rapids really is home. and it’s a pretty damn good city. it really is.  i don’t think i’ve ever really admitted that. i’ve always looked every other direction for a home, for a comfort and a place to set roots. it’s still difficult for me to say this is it forever… because as soon as i say that the plans may change. but it is good to be here. i’m not sure the structure of this home is what establishes my roots here as much as the dozens of legal documents with my signature stating this is my primary residence does. plus i love this house, it’s pretty cool to say “this is mine, like really mine!”

i’m here, in more ways than one.

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