in the past, when i’ve tried to write a blog post, i would try to write the perfect flow of words and hope it all sounds so good together. i’d want it to be perfect or i just wouldn’t write anything at all.
so i decided to ignore my blog. for the entire summer, on purpose. i wanted to get away from the idea of perfection. i wanted to remove myself from the concept that every post needed to convey all the right thoughts and all the right emotions at all the right moments.
because here’s the thing…
i found that my pursuit of perfection also cramped my daily life as well.
you cannot create perfection.
it’s just not all that attainable. i’ve tried. and so have you. and neither of us have made it happen very often, have we?
i’ve tried to be the perfect son, the perfect husband, the perfect employee. i’ve tried to make the perfect decisions that make everyone around me happy.
don’t you feel the pressure to be everything you think everyone is expecting you to be? do and say all the right things? if you say no… i guess that’s nice but i can’t say i believe you.
but again, trying to be perfect is unattainable. it’ll never happen. and all those people we are concerned about making happy? they already have their own thoughts and worries and concerns to deal with. besides, they already know we aren’t perfect anyway.
it’s not really a conscious thing, i don’t sit up at night asking myself what the formula for perfection is. but, it’s the concept of being afraid to let people down, upsetting the normal. doing what is expected of me. it’s a tightrope isn’t it?
today i’m going to start writing again. i’m going to start writing the way i want to without the self-afflicting pressure applied. also, i’m going to live daily without the faulty concept that perfection is the goal. there’s no reason for that nonsense anyway.