this is not like me.
i promise you. i talk about a lot of things and write about even more but even this is a taboo topic for me normally. i don’t really like to talk about my personal thoughts about Jesus.
i probably should.
usually i am most moved by music and most of my material for writing comes from songs i randomly hear. this is no exception.
i heard this song from the 90’s the other day… “what would people think if they heard that i was a Jesus freak?”
and i began to think about it. what would people REALLY think if i said i was a real Jesus freak? i mean, i have a rule, i don’t talk about politics or religion unless i know how the outcome of that conversation will be. why stir up the hornets nest if you don’t want to get stung?
but here’s the thing. i do love Jesus. a lot. why should i be afraid to say that?
it’s so much easier to argue about sports, because in the end, does it really matter? no one is losing sleep because i love the yankees more than the tigers. it is not going to affect anyone else. even in politics, will people really be angry if i am a democrat? even if i claim to be a Christian? that’s really not my problem. but talking about my faith? do i really want to put myself on a pedestal? what if people don’t feel the same way? worse yet, what if people expect me to live up to the expectations?
the song goes, “i don’t really care if they label me a Jesus freak, there ain’t no disguising the truth.”
i guess that is what has always made me nervous, that there might be some disguising of the truth. that what people see in me is not what should be seen. i am not always a nice person. i have little tolerance for things or people that annoy me. i don’t love the way Jesus loves. i don’t care for everyone the way Jesus does, so how can i call myself a Jesus freak?
i wish i had those answers. but i want to be a Jesus freak. it’s actually pretty cool. i don’t expect to live up to the high and lofty expectations everyday or ever. i am going to stumble and i am going to crack and fall. maybe that is what makes being a Jesus freak so enticing, because i know i can’t do it under my own power. i will never be the bible-thumping door to door Jesus salesman. i won’t always initiate conversations about the end times and whether there is a purgatory or wonder about the age of the earth. those things might be for some people. i just know that as a flawed person, there must be more for me than the everyday. and being a Jesus freak, it might just be the way to go.