what if i stumble?

“What if I stumble, what if I fall?

What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

I hear You whispering my name

 ‘My love for You will never change’ “

DC Talk

so sometimes i sing in the shower. no big deal. everyone does. this morning for some reason i found myself singing an old DC Talk song, “What If I Stumble”. if you don’t know DC Talk, they were pretty much THE Christian music band i could listen to back in the 90’s when i was in my teenage years.

this song always resonated with me for some reason, maybe because of the fear that was dripping from the lyrics, asking God, really… what if i did stumble… what if i became a “somebody” and my actions caused the walls to come crashing down… would the love continue?  i was always fearful that maybe i would lose that love if i screwed up or did something stupid.

i find that these days… in my seemingly never-ending pursuit of the suddenly incredibly elusive career job i desire so badly… that i become sometimes overwhelmed with that question. “what if i stumble?” what if i take a job and i can’t do it and i make fools of everyone? what if i am not smart enough, what if i can’t do it the way i said i could? what if… what if… what if…

i think so many of us think that way. what if whatever i try to do in this world doesn’t matter. what if i stumble? what if i’ve already stumbled? what if i don’t feel good enough?  what if the walk becomes a crawl? will the love continue?

when i was singing this song in the shower, i started singing the part where it says…

“I hear you whispering my name, my love for you will never change”

and i hesitated and then smiled, because i knew that the only fool is me… i am a fool if i think stumbling or failing is going to change anything. His love for me never changes, no matter what I do. that is pretty crazy. i worry so much about all the things i cannot control that i fail to recognize the one thing that really matters… is truly never ending. never changing.

as the song ends,  the singer states in his sing-songy voice… “you are my comfort and my God”

no matter what we go through in this life. no matter how many times we have stumbled or fallen, no matter how many times we have lied, stolen or cheated… his love for us never changes.

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2 thoughts on “what if i stumble?”

  1. Beautifully written James. I often am very critical of myself. I can relate very well to what you have written. Thanks for sharing!

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